john mayer on relationships

c"So, I was thinking about relationships as it pertains to songs about relationships, and, ah, I was trying to think of, well, it occur to me that the key...I figure out the key to a relationship and how it'll work. Check it out---this is a tip from the cynical John:

When you first met somebody, you found out they like you, first of all, a friend of a friend of theirs says 'He or she really, really likes you'. And then it kills you, floors you, send you to the ground, you've got to pick yourself off the ground. Then you get their phone number and call them up right? And you say 'Yeah, that's a great phone conversation, can I see you sometime?' And then they'll say this, they'll say 'I'D LIKE THAT'. 'I'd like that' makes you fall of the floor again, your heart's about to stop because of 'I'd like that'. So now, you're blood pressure's goin', you're six feet off the ground, you can't sleep because of 'I'd like that'.

So then you hang out for a while. And you call, and you talk on the phone all the time, and then you drop the bomb, what feels like the bomb, you say, 'You know what? I'VE BEEN THINKIN' ABOUT YOU...'. And then she goes 'Ooooh', and you go 'What happened?' and she goes 'Sorry, I just, I just, it's...I've been thinking about you too...' BAM! Higher than the sky. But now, 'Id like that', done, now you're up to 'I'm thinkin' about you'. Then however number of months pass, it makes you feel comfortable saying it, you say 'I got to tell you something,' they'll go 'What?', you go 'I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU.' And nothing in the world sounds better than 'I'm in love with you.' And then maybe she starts cryin', and maybe she goes 'Whoah!' (choking in disbelief). And all of a sudden, you're like 'Oh, men!

But now what doesn't work, 'I'd like that' and I've been thinkin' about you', now we're in 'I'm in love with you' then maybe someday, we'd go to 'I love you', fast forward, then you'll go 'I love you a lot', 'I love you more than anything in life'. Now I love you just doesn't work, and the pressure just keeps goin' up, it's fast forward, it's like six months, six weeks...what ever the case maybe, then you're like, 'I WANNA MARRY YOU, I WANT TO IMPREGNATE YOU WITH MY LOVE, I WANTED TO SEND MY LOVE TO YOU! DAMN IT! WORDS DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE! And then you'd say this, like, you used this, like, before...'I JUST WISH THEY'LL PUT A NEW WORD IN THE DICTIONARY BIGGER THAN LOVE BECAUSE LOVE JUST DOESN'T DESCRIBE WHAT I FEEL!' And then now he or she starts asking 'Do you love me?' And then you start goin' 'Of course I love you', 'Well say it!' and then it becomes 'Say it twice!', 'Say it three times!' And then you'll cross a really really interesting point when all of a sudden it becomes 'I HATE YOU!, I HATE YOU!', and then you go 'Oh my God, she hates me!' And now she goes 'I hate you more than anything!' And then it's like 'WE'RE OVER!' And then they'll go 'No we're not!' And now words do not completely work at all, you're left with nothing. You're throwing punches under water. You're done.

You know what the moral of that story is? If there is one: Never, ever, ever, ever underestimate the power of 'I'D LIKE THAT'."

--- John Mayer, from Any Given Thursday