that was what i kept in mind from what sheldon said while saying things to make me feel better.
happy thoughts. think of happy thoughts.
i called him last night and poured my heart out. if only i had unlimited sun load, maybe the talk would've been longer.
it felt like i was going to explode. i wanted to to jump out of the bus and be hit by it last night to completely numb the pain. then i thought of texting people to keep me from doing it. the bus ride from ayala to crossing took only 20 minutes, but last night felt like forever. then sheldon replied "Ok" after asking if i can call him when i get home. it felt nice talking to him. it has been a while since we've had those chats.
"...basag ako." i said when he asked if i was alright. then i continued saying that i wanted to sleep so badly, but i just can't. he asked what happened. i shared my thoughts, then he laughed. i missed that laugh. he said that he was just reminded of his friend who "chose to be sad". sabi nya, wag ko daw gayahin yun. the things happening to me just happens. and he emphasized that "IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT", so why waste your time and be "bad trip" about it. then he laughed again. it wasn't an annoying laugh. it was a comforting laugh.
thank you Sheldon.