silent war

we're better off this way.
i'll just pretend that it's still the beginning of december.
that i don't know ice cream maker can be a perfect gift for your friend's wedding.
i never knew if you got an ice cream maker anyway.

i kept the wrapper
yes, i did.
hershey's milk chocolate with almonds
almonds are my weakness.

"you eat so daintily..."
you didn't know that i hated it when people watch me eat.
i never realized i eat that way,
because nobody bothered to watch closely.

parking lots and long conversations.
long drives and short drives.
just perfect.
just plainly perfect.

it just kills me that all this is still in my head.
that you moved on in a wink, leaving me still stranded.
i'm still in repair,
and comprehending it all.

you practiced on me.
you practiced on my heart.
you will always be december.
the december i never had.

so i am declaring a war.
a silent war.
a silent, careful war.
and i'm not hoping for white flags to be raised.