Cynicism

My Dad scolded me last Saturday because I have no "life". For the past three or so months, I hardly go out to gigs, or go to a friend's house like I used to. I'd rather spend my weekend at home watching DVD, write or just read books.

Nagkukulong lang ako sa kwarto ko.

I was surprised and alarmed that my DAD brought that to my attention.

"Lawakan mo naman ang mundo mo..." he said. Then he added that I hardly talk to them like I used to. Even to my two brothers.

I've been pondering things about me transforming into a hermit, and not even aware of it. Not that I am complaining because I just like to spend my weekend that way. I cannot really go to Peng's house even if I wanted to. It's either she has a shift at the hospital or she spends time with her boyfriend, which is actually great. No sarcasm there. Then you might ask if that's the only thing that I am most likely to be spending my time. Well, yes. Boring huh? I don't know. I used to be the outgoing type. Always out of the house, talking to people and discovering bits about their life.

Sometimes the world is just scary that I'd rather stay inside my room. Scared of, again, bumping into someone that will be a potential friend and then might hurt me badly in the end. Scared of saying something stupid.

God, give me strength and inspiration.