Goodbye, July

Halting my stressful research about candy cigars for a bit to ponder on things.

Is July really over?

My birthday month had been a memorable one. Making decisions to be honest with one's feelings and frustrations to people I care about is definitely a risk. It's either be friends with them and have all these frustrations of them not knowing I have it or telling my exact emotions and entirely risk of loosing them altogether. I choose the latter. Those who understood stayed, and those who doesn't either stayed away or subtly lingered.

Moving on is not one of my best assets. I consider it both a blessing and a curse. Holding on to people whenever I see a tiny inch of hope in them make me forget that I sometimes (others said most of the time) that I tend to spend too much time for them, and them not doing it in return. I never regret giving my attention to people that needs them. But it is frustrating that when the time comes that you're the one who needs attention/care/soundboard/whatever, the people you've given that much care and attention that they need are the ones that are not there.

I know I sounded needy. I sounded that I am the type of person that need A LOT of attention. But honestly, no. That's why I find it frustrating whenever I get ignored.

Alone is all I have, I guess.

Tip

Situations like this have me thinking if only I could have superpowers. The idea of having tv mounting brackets as a weapon even crossed my mind. Crazy ideas could enter one's head especially in times that one thinks that he/she is most useless.

Like right now.

The last thing I want is to feel helpless. But given the situation, I cannot do anything but pray. Hard.

Revamped

Overthinking is my kryptonite. This trait has become the main reason why this corner haven't been filled with anything worth reading. Plus my 2011 have been, I cannot say wasted, but got me drowned with various mental and emotional scenarios that left me uninspired to blog or to write for that matter. I am in that stage where I am trying to find that drive again to write. So I thought the first step was revamping this space.

The header photo is a collage of my most favorite photos I took using my BlackBerry. And it kinda represent the things I like and what inspires me right now: music, filming bands, friends, books, and long walks.

Music. I have always been in love with music. The past year led me to discovering a lot of local and foreign independent acts. I find myself eluding the local radio stations and spending more time listening to the music shared with by friends. I remember this one tweet I read about knowing the music that you like and finding oneself not being charmed by commercial music. The artists and bands that I have discovered these past months are the ones that really speak to you in a manner that sometimes I find myself lost in it. What makes it more interesting is that I have new friends who actually share the fondness for these tunes.

Filming bands. Live music has always been my passion. Seeing Eraserheads and Rivermaya in one gig at 15 triggered this passion. It's that feeling of nothingness when I am in the middle of these gigs makes me whole. Nothingness, in the sense that I let the music take over me that let myself forget about the realities that I face everyday. That in five hours, nothing can bring me down because of the fuel live music gives me. Capturing moments is another one I am fond of. I will be forever thankful to the person who gave me my first HD camcorder, the one who, at one point in our friendship, believed in what I can do.

My YouTube channel now has 130 different videos of the gigs that I have been to since October of last year.

Friends. Discovering my passion for filming bands had led me to meet the most amazing people lately. Those people that I can be myself around with. Who also share the same passion for local music as I do. Whom I can talk for hours about my thoughts about music, and the scene.

Books. I need to add new titles on my list. Any suggestions?

Long walks. The hours where I can be my 'overthinking' self again. :P

This is a start...

Lollapalooza 2012 Schedule

Lollapalooza season is upon music indie fans, and I couldn't be more excited. That weekend where I do not mind staying in front my computer in the wee hours of the morning, shouting curses when the stream spend more time buffering than actually streaming the festival. The weekend where I don't mind if they're working on a funeral planning checklist, as long as I wake up at the exact time, not giving a damn whether the hour is most ungodly, to catch up on my favorite bands play live and experience the same thrill people on the other side of the globe (yes, people of Chicago I am looking at you).

Here's to hoping that our Internet service provider will give this corner a decent connection on August 4, 5, and 6. Or else curses and frustration will take its course.

And here my friends is the AWESOME Lollapalooza 2012 lineup!

My 29th Birthday, In Tweets

Yep, I just turned 29 last Thursday. And I can honestly say I had the best birthday this year. I got to spend the entire day with my whole family. We had a mini ice cream party courtesy of Mama. Then the whole family went to the nearest mall to watch Spider Man and had dinner at Max's.

 

The day also became special because of the tweets I received from friends. Some tweeted a day earlier and others even managed to tweet me at exactly 12mn. These little things matter to me. The fact that they remembered (well, I was doing a countdown on twitter so they won't miss it haha) and made an effort to greet me means so much to me, you have no idea. I got to respond to each and every greeting, thanks to my handy BlackBerry. 

@belcerteza happy birthday! @greenjello22 @sungkiserna

— Aeryn Sun Crichton (@aeryncrichton) July 4, 2012

I never really asked for anything material for my birthday (not even a dymo 30277), but the overflowing love is something I never expected. THANK YOU to everyone who made my birthday memorable and special. BIG HUG to all of you. :D

29

In two days, I'll be 29. The last year where I get to say 20-ish. The idea is kinda scary knowing that I am not getting any younger. I have to write an article on cubital tunnel splint due today, but I just needed to write these thoughts down.

Travel more.
Read more.
Film bands.
Laugh more.
Hug more.
Trust more.

Yep, random thoughts.