Sunday, January 06, 2013

Slow Start

In my room, streaming Minus the Bear on Soundcloud. One reason I'm doing this is because a new found friend likes listening to the band. I met him last November and I sort of felt connected with him because I just found out that we have some things in common. But I'm not going to linger on that. I just know that I like talking to him and I just hope he sort of perceive the same thing with me.

This is really weird. Writing. I honestly feel really awkward right now as I type. Guess I cannot really come back to that point in my life where writing is my comfort zone. I've accepted the fact that I'm not good with words. I think I WAS before. Don't get me wrong, I write everyday but the style is all black and white. It's a slow process, but strongly believe that I am getting better at it.

The start of the year have been pretty slow for me. Saying that sounds funny because because it's only the 6th day. High hopes was all I had when I started 2012. I thought everything will go smoothly, but the first half was rough. But looking back, I think the things that happened were meant to happen. It was a blessing in disguise.

Rejection was a blessing.

2012 was I think a particular year in my life where I met and made A LOT of new friends. And these new set of friends were the ones that I love being around with because I can just be myself. I can be my crazy self without being laughed at and I can talk about things without feeling awkward and afraid of being ridiculed.

But honestly, I love the days when I do things on my own. Watching movies alone. Eating alone. Watching gigs alone. Walking alone. Some three years ago, I was sort of 'stressed out' with the idea that at my age, I still do things alone. Of course, there are days that I wonder how it feels like having someone (who doesn't). Pero lagi ko na lang sinasabi sa sarili ko na dadating din yan. Dadating din siya. If not, then life goes on.

The new year both excite and scare me. But I guess the year will be less awkward and not as stressful as last year.

I hope.

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